I downloaded a free e-book from Barb Kobe, transformational doll maker.
This small but powerful book is a tool for healing and personal transformation.
Although the instructions are for paper dolls,
my passion is for textiles, so this is what I used.
I did not expect how healing this creative journey would be.
This small but powerful book is a tool for healing and personal transformation.
Although the instructions are for paper dolls,
my passion is for textiles, so this is what I used.
I did not expect how healing this creative journey would be.
CREATIVE GUARDIANS
Creating a guardian has been a VERY difficult process for me.
As I auditioned materials and ideas, I felt enormous anguish.
As the form of each guardian emerged,
I experienced a deep sense of dissatisfaction.
So I would begin another intuitive doll form.
8 times!
To call a halt,
I sat with these feelings of discontent.
I came to realise that each of the guardians I had created were for a younger me.
They reflected the coping and defence mechanisms I employed (and still use in varying degrees)
to preserve my well-being.
Some I still employ, perhaps sub-consciously,
- Sacred Clown, Ritual Maker, Invisible Goddess –
because they help maintain my integrity;
enhance my mental well-being;
and provide a sacred space.
Others I have adapted to become my muse
– Nature, Velvet Darkness –
or to enrich my identity as a woman and as an artist.
Each of these guardians is important and significant in my life.
So I sat with them.
I thanked them for their steadfastness;
for their guidance and protection;
for their blessed presence in my life.
I asked each, “Who is the guardian I need most NOW?”
Kuia emerged
– a soul friend, a companion, a wiser version of me -
who knows how to encourage me without my feeling threatened or resistant;
someone who affirms and enables;
someone I can TRUST;
someone who wants me to be the best person I can be.
She is care-worn and caring;
authentic and kind;
endlessly patient.
She holds a kete of wrapped messages to my younger self
– affirmations, adages, soul food.
Beside her is a teapot, a symbol of her innate hospitality.
It, too, is filled with wrapped messages to nourish my beleaguered soul.
As I auditioned materials and ideas, I felt enormous anguish.
As the form of each guardian emerged,
I experienced a deep sense of dissatisfaction.
So I would begin another intuitive doll form.
8 times!
To call a halt,
I sat with these feelings of discontent.
I came to realise that each of the guardians I had created were for a younger me.
They reflected the coping and defence mechanisms I employed (and still use in varying degrees)
to preserve my well-being.
Some I still employ, perhaps sub-consciously,
- Sacred Clown, Ritual Maker, Invisible Goddess –
because they help maintain my integrity;
enhance my mental well-being;
and provide a sacred space.
Others I have adapted to become my muse
– Nature, Velvet Darkness –
or to enrich my identity as a woman and as an artist.
Each of these guardians is important and significant in my life.
So I sat with them.
I thanked them for their steadfastness;
for their guidance and protection;
for their blessed presence in my life.
I asked each, “Who is the guardian I need most NOW?”
Kuia emerged
– a soul friend, a companion, a wiser version of me -
who knows how to encourage me without my feeling threatened or resistant;
someone who affirms and enables;
someone I can TRUST;
someone who wants me to be the best person I can be.
She is care-worn and caring;
authentic and kind;
endlessly patient.
She holds a kete of wrapped messages to my younger self
– affirmations, adages, soul food.
Beside her is a teapot, a symbol of her innate hospitality.
It, too, is filled with wrapped messages to nourish my beleaguered soul.
Each of the guardians has a cloak, a mantle.
A cloak in general is a sign of protection from harm.
It may also symbolise that worries or fears are now diminishing.
The cloak is also seen as a representation of the soul.
A mantle may indicate an important role or responsibility that passes from one person to another.
There are stories of gallant acts where a cloak is laid down for another to step across a puddle.
There is a feeling of this gallantry as each guardian I created laid down their 'mantle'
as an invitation for the next to assume the responsibility.
A cloak in general is a sign of protection from harm.
It may also symbolise that worries or fears are now diminishing.
The cloak is also seen as a representation of the soul.
A mantle may indicate an important role or responsibility that passes from one person to another.
There are stories of gallant acts where a cloak is laid down for another to step across a puddle.
There is a feeling of this gallantry as each guardian I created laid down their 'mantle'
as an invitation for the next to assume the responsibility.
Creative Guardian, Artisan
Thank you for the traditions you have preserved and passed on.
They embody your stories and enrich my life story.
They fuel my passion and my voice.
They provide solace and satisfaction.
Creative Guardian, Artisan
You give me permission to explore the creative process.
You teach me to respect the work of my hands and my heart.
Thank you for the traditions you have preserved and passed on.
They embody your stories and enrich my life story.
They fuel my passion and my voice.
They provide solace and satisfaction.
Creative Guardian, Artisan
You give me permission to explore the creative process.
You teach me to respect the work of my hands and my heart.
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ELEMENTS OF CONSTRUCTION
Body: constructed from the remains of a tapestry started by my mother before her death. It was ravaged by flames and water and soot after an arson in my daughter's textile studio. It reminds me of the tenacity of 'women's crafts' and how they persist and grow against all the odds. Cloak: crocheted by my mother's sister, a skilled and generous crochet artist. I found it and used it on Artisan on the first anniversary of her death. |
Creative Guardian, Earth Mother
The chaos and change of nature reflect the chaos and instability and unpredictability of my own life.
The over-abundance and fecundity of nature both overwhelm and astound me,
filling me with hope.
The cyclical nature of seasons hold the promise of new beginnings.
Creative Guardian, Earth Mother
It is with deep gratitude that I thank you for birthing me;
nurturing me; sustaining me;
nourishing me.
The scent of a freshly picked lemon;
the serenade of the tui;
the aroma of newly mown grass all revive and enliven me.
You are a sanctuary.
The chaos and change of nature reflect the chaos and instability and unpredictability of my own life.
The over-abundance and fecundity of nature both overwhelm and astound me,
filling me with hope.
The cyclical nature of seasons hold the promise of new beginnings.
Creative Guardian, Earth Mother
It is with deep gratitude that I thank you for birthing me;
nurturing me; sustaining me;
nourishing me.
The scent of a freshly picked lemon;
the serenade of the tui;
the aroma of newly mown grass all revive and enliven me.
You are a sanctuary.
ELEMENTS OF CONSTRUCTION
Cloak: a de-constructed applique floral panel from an old quilt
Body: another panel from the same applique quilt
Cloak: a de-constructed applique floral panel from an old quilt
Body: another panel from the same applique quilt
Creative Guardian Ritual Maker
Ritual has always transported me; transformed me.
It has created a bridge between the spiritual and the corporal;
offered a transition between one state of mind and another;
honoured and enabled transformation.
Creative Guardian, Ritual Maker
Thank you for the foundational experiences you have given me.
Thank you for speaking to the heart; to the soul; to my senses.
Guided by intention and openness
I am on the cusp of change -
abandoning the known and comfortable;
looking to assimilate and absorb alternative practices;
seeking new grounded, relevant rituals;
opening to ways to honour transition.
But ritual alone cannot sustain me.
I will use what you offer me to walk a new path.
Ritual has always transported me; transformed me.
It has created a bridge between the spiritual and the corporal;
offered a transition between one state of mind and another;
honoured and enabled transformation.
Creative Guardian, Ritual Maker
Thank you for the foundational experiences you have given me.
Thank you for speaking to the heart; to the soul; to my senses.
Guided by intention and openness
I am on the cusp of change -
abandoning the known and comfortable;
looking to assimilate and absorb alternative practices;
seeking new grounded, relevant rituals;
opening to ways to honour transition.
But ritual alone cannot sustain me.
I will use what you offer me to walk a new path.
ELEMENTS OF CONSTRUCTION
Fabric: the remnants of a jacket of a young woman who died recently. Using it has helped me to mark her passing.
Incense: appealing to the senses, to bypass the rational mind
Marble: to be open to all cultures and traditions
Fabric: the remnants of a jacket of a young woman who died recently. Using it has helped me to mark her passing.
Incense: appealing to the senses, to bypass the rational mind
Marble: to be open to all cultures and traditions
Creative Guardian, Sacred Clown.
I spoke the truth several times to those in power –
to protect the weak and vulnerable and abused.
On each occasion, this truth was not honoured.
As a person of integrity, I will continue to speak up when it is necessary.
Creative Guardian, Sacred Clown.
Grant me courage and perseverance,
wisdom and steadfastness
to reveal the truth and transform lives.
Help me bear the consequences with grace.
Sacred Clown,
You are an intrinsic part of me but your role is draining;
fraught with conflict and confrontation.
I am tired.
I yearn to lay down this mantle.
Who will share my burden?
I spoke the truth several times to those in power –
to protect the weak and vulnerable and abused.
On each occasion, this truth was not honoured.
As a person of integrity, I will continue to speak up when it is necessary.
Creative Guardian, Sacred Clown.
Grant me courage and perseverance,
wisdom and steadfastness
to reveal the truth and transform lives.
Help me bear the consequences with grace.
Sacred Clown,
You are an intrinsic part of me but your role is draining;
fraught with conflict and confrontation.
I am tired.
I yearn to lay down this mantle.
Who will share my burden?
ELEMENTS OF CONSTRUCTION
Horn: the whistle-blower, the protector, the voice for the disenfranchised.
Mantle: the Sacred Clown was a speaker of truth to those in power. The fur edged mantle represents those powers.
Horn: the whistle-blower, the protector, the voice for the disenfranchised.
Mantle: the Sacred Clown was a speaker of truth to those in power. The fur edged mantle represents those powers.
Creative Guardian, Porter
I move slowly,
weighed down by real and imagined burdens.
I long for someone to share this yoke;
take my baggage form me,
encourage me to set it down and walk lightly on this earth.
But you know, don't you, Porter,
that the burdens are mine and ONLY I can lay them down.
Creative Guardian, Porter
Like in an old English novel,
you greet me;
pick up my load;
and enable me to arrive at my destination.
Help me to free my creative spirit and jettison all that is unnecessary in my life.
Let's create a SPACE together where dreams can flourish.
I move slowly,
weighed down by real and imagined burdens.
I long for someone to share this yoke;
take my baggage form me,
encourage me to set it down and walk lightly on this earth.
But you know, don't you, Porter,
that the burdens are mine and ONLY I can lay them down.
Creative Guardian, Porter
Like in an old English novel,
you greet me;
pick up my load;
and enable me to arrive at my destination.
Help me to free my creative spirit and jettison all that is unnecessary in my life.
Let's create a SPACE together where dreams can flourish.
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ELEMENTS OF CONSTRUCTION
Ladder: the burden of ambition and social ascendancy Large hat: for all the burdens I carry in my mind |
Creative Guardian, Velvet Darkness.
Daylight always filled me with fear and struggle;
confrontation;
stress;
inability to cope.
Darkness and night are safe.
They nurture and caress me.
Silence and sleep are welcome companions.
Sleep is a dream incubator.
Creative Guardian, Velvet Darkness.
Help me sit comfortably with mystery;
to honour the question and the unknowing;
to dialogue with my feelings and intuition.
Give my thoughts and dreams form and purpose.
You continue to be a most precious guardian
but I am also a child of the light.
Daylight always filled me with fear and struggle;
confrontation;
stress;
inability to cope.
Darkness and night are safe.
They nurture and caress me.
Silence and sleep are welcome companions.
Sleep is a dream incubator.
Creative Guardian, Velvet Darkness.
Help me sit comfortably with mystery;
to honour the question and the unknowing;
to dialogue with my feelings and intuition.
Give my thoughts and dreams form and purpose.
You continue to be a most precious guardian
but I am also a child of the light.
ELEMENTS OF CONSTRUCTION
Black rose: The black rose symbolizes death and passing away. It indicates a major change or upheaval in the future. In that sense, the black rose also means the death of old habits and the old order. It inspires confidence and enthusiasm by signalling the birth of a new era of hope and joy.
Cloak: Black velvet with rose embossed print lined with silver – a glimmer of light, of truth, of hope.
Pillows: the luxury of sleep, the richness of dreams
Black rose: The black rose symbolizes death and passing away. It indicates a major change or upheaval in the future. In that sense, the black rose also means the death of old habits and the old order. It inspires confidence and enthusiasm by signalling the birth of a new era of hope and joy.
Cloak: Black velvet with rose embossed print lined with silver – a glimmer of light, of truth, of hope.
Pillows: the luxury of sleep, the richness of dreams
Creative Guardian, Light Bearer
I have lived a life full of secrets and denials.
They have both oppressed and shaped me.
Openness, honesty, transparency and integrity
transform and heal me.
Creative Guardian, Light Bearer
You radiate light;
disperse the shadow;
change my perspective.
Enlighten me when I feel overwhelmed.
I have lived a life full of secrets and denials.
They have both oppressed and shaped me.
Openness, honesty, transparency and integrity
transform and heal me.
Creative Guardian, Light Bearer
You radiate light;
disperse the shadow;
change my perspective.
Enlighten me when I feel overwhelmed.
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ELEMENTS OF CONSTRUCTION
Body: poly-cotton with layers, reflecting my poupou. A poupou is a carved wood slab retelling a story of one's ancestors. Train: there are remnants of a cloak, now shreds which form a small train. No hiding. No cowering. Prism: Light Bearer holds a prism which has captured my heart strings as it hung from my window. It played with light – refracted it; painted with it and delighted me. I hope to capture that delight again. |
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Creative Guardian, Invisibility Goddess,
For most of my adult life,
I created when others were not aware.
I gave credit for my work to others to deflect attention from myself;
to avoid psychological and emotional abuse, judgement and criticism.
Invisibility allowed me to create without fear of reprisal.
I am usually stricken with a creative paralysis when asked to create in a group or public situation.
Creative Guardian, Invisibility Goddess,
Thank you for protecting my creative spirit.
Grant me a safe haven where I can hear my true name;
remove my masks;
and reveal my giftedness.
Who will you send to companion me?
For most of my adult life,
I created when others were not aware.
I gave credit for my work to others to deflect attention from myself;
to avoid psychological and emotional abuse, judgement and criticism.
Invisibility allowed me to create without fear of reprisal.
I am usually stricken with a creative paralysis when asked to create in a group or public situation.
Creative Guardian, Invisibility Goddess,
Thank you for protecting my creative spirit.
Grant me a safe haven where I can hear my true name;
remove my masks;
and reveal my giftedness.
Who will you send to companion me?
ELEMENTS OF CONSTRUCTION
Body: plain brown fabric. Unembellished. Holding a wall flower.
Small figure: hidden behind, working in secret, a personal out-worker!
Cloak: pieced on the outside. Embellished on the inside with the tools of my craft – thread, buttons, pins, tape measure ready for the 'out worker' to create in safety.
Mask: a masquerade mask to disguise my true self
Body: plain brown fabric. Unembellished. Holding a wall flower.
Small figure: hidden behind, working in secret, a personal out-worker!
Cloak: pieced on the outside. Embellished on the inside with the tools of my craft – thread, buttons, pins, tape measure ready for the 'out worker' to create in safety.
Mask: a masquerade mask to disguise my true self
Creative Guardian, Kuia,
Hold me to your bosom.
You know me more than I know myself.
Envelop me in your unconditional love.
Let your wisdom infuse my soul.
You have shed all pretensions.
You are comfortable in your own skin.
You are a steward of our environment.
You are a vessel holding wisdom.
You empower and enable and embolden.
Creative Guardian, Kuia,
Allow me to hear;
to recognise;
to share in your wisdom.
Be with me as I connect with the sacred feminine.
Hold me to your bosom.
You know me more than I know myself.
Envelop me in your unconditional love.
Let your wisdom infuse my soul.
You have shed all pretensions.
You are comfortable in your own skin.
You are a steward of our environment.
You are a vessel holding wisdom.
You empower and enable and embolden.
Creative Guardian, Kuia,
Allow me to hear;
to recognise;
to share in your wisdom.
Be with me as I connect with the sacred feminine.
I felt a paraphrase of PSALM 139 could be sung of Kuia, my older self.
You have searched me, Kuia,
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you, Kuia, know it completely.
You are behind me and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
1even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
You have searched me, Kuia,
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you, Kuia, know it completely.
You are behind me and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
1even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
ELEMENTS OF CONSTRUCTION
Skirt: tea dyed muslin with 7 photos of myself – 1 for each decade of my life.
Wrapped beads: containing adages and words of wisdom for me to unwrap; to carry in my pocket and in my soul.
Old cloak: recycled, darned, we do not lose our richness and our usefulness as we age. We offer new gifts to ourselves and to those we encounter.
Teapot: a symbol of hospitality, of companionship, of congeniality, of sharing.
Kete: woven harakeke (flax) a basketful of treasure. A gift of the hands of the tangata whenua (inhabitants of a particular area); and of the environment
Skirt: tea dyed muslin with 7 photos of myself – 1 for each decade of my life.
Wrapped beads: containing adages and words of wisdom for me to unwrap; to carry in my pocket and in my soul.
Old cloak: recycled, darned, we do not lose our richness and our usefulness as we age. We offer new gifts to ourselves and to those we encounter.
Teapot: a symbol of hospitality, of companionship, of congeniality, of sharing.
Kete: woven harakeke (flax) a basketful of treasure. A gift of the hands of the tangata whenua (inhabitants of a particular area); and of the environment
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And yet, Kuia,
you do not hold me close to yourself. You direct my gaze to the cloak lying beside you. ORANGE. The colour of freedom, expression, and fascination; the colour of joy and creativity. Will I pick up this mantle? |
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