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A nest ...
a safe container a sacred vessel a chalice. 
A nest ...
adaptive protective instinctual a labour of love 
A nest ...
intimate safe womb creative nurturing 
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A nest ...
grounded rooted deep still NOW 
A nest ...
vulnerable degradable 
A nest ...
suited to purpose complex threads and strands interwoven interconnected |
THE NEST
My youngest child had left home.
The feeling of alone-ness was acute.
The grief was overwhelming.
I was guided to David Whyte's poem, “The Well of Grief”.
Those who will not slip beneath
the still surface of the well of grief
turning downward through its black water
to the place we cannot breathe
will never know the source from which we drink,
the secret water, cold and clear,
nor find in the darkness glimmering
the small round coins
thrown by those who wished for something else.
I sat with the grief and in its dark surface I saw reflected a nest.
At first I thought 'empty nest' but it was much more personal than that.
This was a soul crying.
The nest was an image that spoke to me “at the deep centre of myself.”
This was an invitation to build and un-build.
Mathew Fox wrote,
“... when we examine a nest,
we place ourselves at the origin of confidence in the world,
we receive a beginning of confidence,
an urge toward cosmic confidence.
Would a bird build its nest if it did not have its instinct for confidence in the world?’
A nest is a sign of optimism.”
The feeling of alone-ness was acute.
The grief was overwhelming.
I was guided to David Whyte's poem, “The Well of Grief”.
Those who will not slip beneath
the still surface of the well of grief
turning downward through its black water
to the place we cannot breathe
will never know the source from which we drink,
the secret water, cold and clear,
nor find in the darkness glimmering
the small round coins
thrown by those who wished for something else.
I sat with the grief and in its dark surface I saw reflected a nest.
At first I thought 'empty nest' but it was much more personal than that.
This was a soul crying.
The nest was an image that spoke to me “at the deep centre of myself.”
This was an invitation to build and un-build.
Mathew Fox wrote,
“... when we examine a nest,
we place ourselves at the origin of confidence in the world,
we receive a beginning of confidence,
an urge toward cosmic confidence.
Would a bird build its nest if it did not have its instinct for confidence in the world?’
A nest is a sign of optimism.”
THE WOMB AS NEST
A gateway
where I leave the familiar, comforting boundaries of my being
to transformation
a temple
a place to honour my deepest transformations
a place of return
a place of integration
a womb space
the womb is a cave of pure creativity
and I am the creator.
Psalm 139: 13-16 NLT
“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.”
Blessing
May life grow from warm depths in you.
May you forge a transformational path.
May you return to your own centre,
your womb space.
where I leave the familiar, comforting boundaries of my being
to transformation
a temple
a place to honour my deepest transformations
a place of return
a place of integration
a womb space
the womb is a cave of pure creativity
and I am the creator.
Psalm 139: 13-16 NLT
“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.”
Blessing
May life grow from warm depths in you.
May you forge a transformational path.
May you return to your own centre,
your womb space.
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I was surprised by this figure. I imagined and auditioned her standing, striding, purposeful, moving forward. But she insisted on sitting, chilled, comfortable, open to possibility but unhurried. |
I AM A PART OF MANY NESTS
I am a part of many nests.
Some I have helped to construct, providing a strong foundation.
Some I have simply been a steward, tending, nurturing, maintaining.
Some I have abandoned, they no longer met my needs or the needs of those close to me.
Some I carry in my heart, awaiting a safe place to make landfall.
Each nest has a different dynamic.
Some are rigid and inflexible.
Some grow and stretch and accommodate the needs of the occupants.
Some I have helped to construct, providing a strong foundation.
Some I have simply been a steward, tending, nurturing, maintaining.
Some I have abandoned, they no longer met my needs or the needs of those close to me.
Some I carry in my heart, awaiting a safe place to make landfall.
Each nest has a different dynamic.
Some are rigid and inflexible.
Some grow and stretch and accommodate the needs of the occupants.
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This figure and nests were created from the woollen blanket in which my son was wrapped as a baby. He is a part of many nests, as am I. |
A PLACE OF CARING
A nest reflects ...
routine
perseverance
fundamentals
caring
purpose
identity
How do I set down the burdens I have shouldered?
How do I loosen my yoke?
How do I make such a paradigm shift -
from a life dedicated to service?
from a life conformed to institutional rules?
from a life which satisfies the expectations of others?
My sense of self is based on my identity as a parent.
Did I use the nest to defer becoming my true self?
Have I deferred acknowledging who I am?
Did I use the nest to avoid confronting deep-seated issues?
Have I conformed my life to the demands of the nest?
routine
perseverance
fundamentals
caring
purpose
identity
How do I set down the burdens I have shouldered?
How do I loosen my yoke?
How do I make such a paradigm shift -
from a life dedicated to service?
from a life conformed to institutional rules?
from a life which satisfies the expectations of others?
My sense of self is based on my identity as a parent.
Did I use the nest to defer becoming my true self?
Have I deferred acknowledging who I am?
Did I use the nest to avoid confronting deep-seated issues?
Have I conformed my life to the demands of the nest?
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I am taken aback by this figure.
I had imagined her engrossed, not burdened. I wanted a sense of willingness, not compulsion. I wanted her liberated, not cowed. And yet, she speaks to me of a time of choosing, of letting go, of de-cluttering, of doing the hard graft, of finding her true self. The nests are crafted from jeans discarded by the son who left home! |
THE SOURCE
The nest provides ...
energy
empowerment
connection
source
How does energy move through my body?
What empowers me?
How have my nests empowered me or disconnected me?
How do I connect to that which energises me?
What is the source of energy for me?
energy
empowerment
connection
source
How does energy move through my body?
What empowers me?
How have my nests empowered me or disconnected me?
How do I connect to that which energises me?
What is the source of energy for me?
|
The Root Chakra:
Represents our foundation and feeling of being grounded. The Sacral Chakra: Our connection and ability to accept others and new experiences. The Solar Plexus Chakra: Our ability to be confident and in control of our lives. The Heart Chakra: Our ability to love. The Throat Chakra: Our ability to communicate. The 3rd Eye Chakra: Our ability to focus on and see the big picture. The Crown Chakra: The highest chakra represents our ability to be fully connected spiritually. |
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As my son was clearing out his room, some into boxes, some into the rubbish bin, he came to me with a handful of wires from his computer and said, "Would you use these in a doll, Mum?" Here they are ... a nest reflecting on energy and connectivity. |
BEGINNING THE LONG LETTING-GO
Beginning the 'long letting-go”.
There are 3 white feathers entwined in this nest.
Their meaning was left by the Prophets of Parihaka.
Kororia ki te Atua I runga rawa
(Glory to God on high)
An acknowledgement of spirituality and spiritual forces.
Maungarongo ki runga I te whenua
(Peace on earth)
The importance of making peace within yourself and with others.
Whakaaro pai ki nga tangata katoa
(Goodwill to all mankind)
The necessity of maintaining goodwill, despite conflict.
They represent my foundational beliefs.
As I continue to 'let go', a life-long process,
will these beliefs sustain me?
Will they hold true?
How will they shape my decision making?
I wanted to convey my constant yearning and striving;
the infinite struggle to 'let go';
how draining this is.
There are 3 white feathers entwined in this nest.
Their meaning was left by the Prophets of Parihaka.
Kororia ki te Atua I runga rawa
(Glory to God on high)
An acknowledgement of spirituality and spiritual forces.
Maungarongo ki runga I te whenua
(Peace on earth)
The importance of making peace within yourself and with others.
Whakaaro pai ki nga tangata katoa
(Goodwill to all mankind)
The necessity of maintaining goodwill, despite conflict.
They represent my foundational beliefs.
As I continue to 'let go', a life-long process,
will these beliefs sustain me?
Will they hold true?
How will they shape my decision making?
I wanted to convey my constant yearning and striving;
the infinite struggle to 'let go';
how draining this is.
A JOURNEY TO THE CENTRE
The nest offers ...
new paths
a journey to the centre
an opportunity to discover my true name
to become my true self
to discern my calling
How do I take the best of what the nest has offered me,
given me,
shaped in me,
and summon the courage to explore new paths?
From the Rig Veda
"There is an endless net of threads throughout the universe.
The Horizontal threads are in space.
The Vertical threads are in time.
At every crossing of the threads,
there is an individual,
and every individual is a crystal bead.
And every crystal bead reflects not only the light
from every other crystal in the net,
But also every other reflection throughout the entire Universe."
new paths
a journey to the centre
an opportunity to discover my true name
to become my true self
to discern my calling
How do I take the best of what the nest has offered me,
given me,
shaped in me,
and summon the courage to explore new paths?
From the Rig Veda
"There is an endless net of threads throughout the universe.
The Horizontal threads are in space.
The Vertical threads are in time.
At every crossing of the threads,
there is an individual,
and every individual is a crystal bead.
And every crystal bead reflects not only the light
from every other crystal in the net,
But also every other reflection throughout the entire Universe."
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I remember helping my mother skein yarn she was recycling from an old or worn jersey. Hands held aloft watching as she wrapped the yarn around them. Something new from something old. New life from the remnants of the old. A story still being told. |
STIRRING THE NEST
Stirring the nest
An eagle's nest weighs up to 2 tonnes.
It can measure 8 feet across and 2 feet deep.
Limbs of up to 4 inches in diameter are flown up during construction
The eyrie is lined with soft leaves and vines and downy fur to shelter and warm the young.
After about 6 or 7 months, the parent begins to 'stir the nest'.
She pulls out the soft leaves and fur.
The young must learn to stand and balance using their talons.
When my nest is stirred, how do I react?
I was intrigued when I draped the yarn from the nest over the figure.
Letting go or finding refuge?
Retreat or determination?
An eagle's nest weighs up to 2 tonnes.
It can measure 8 feet across and 2 feet deep.
Limbs of up to 4 inches in diameter are flown up during construction
The eyrie is lined with soft leaves and vines and downy fur to shelter and warm the young.
After about 6 or 7 months, the parent begins to 'stir the nest'.
She pulls out the soft leaves and fur.
The young must learn to stand and balance using their talons.
When my nest is stirred, how do I react?
I was intrigued when I draped the yarn from the nest over the figure.
Letting go or finding refuge?
Retreat or determination?
|
I had scraps of lace and doily and handkerchief and yarn building its own nest in my work basket!
I fashioned them into a nest … not an easy process! “Surrender. Trust. Patience. Keep weaving however hard it feels. Even when things fall apart and seem impossible. Keep weaving. Keep trusting.” Azra Bertrand |
METAMORPHOSIS
A nest ...
A place of transition
A place of change
A place of growth
A place of energy
A place of spirit
The possibilities of me.
The potentialities of me.
The shape of me.
What do I retain, and what do I shed?
A place of transition
A place of change
A place of growth
A place of energy
A place of spirit
The possibilities of me.
The potentialities of me.
The shape of me.
What do I retain, and what do I shed?
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I took all the parts of a doll
and wrapped and wrapped and wrapped. My head constantly reminded me about my deep seated fear of confinement and closed spaces. It wanted to put in a zipper or a small aperture. My heart said, “No!” “Wait!” “Trust the process!” |
SURPRISED BY JOY
Surprised by joy
Surprised by myself
I am enough
I am an expression of who I am.
Poet Derek Walcott announced to me in “Love After Love”
The time will come
When, with elation,
You will greet yourself arriving
At your own door, at your own mirror,
And each will smile at the other's welcome.
And say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
To itself, to the stranger who has loved you
All your life, whom you ignored
For another, who knows you by heart,
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
The photographs, the desperate notes,
Peel your image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
Aaah!
Such salve for the soul!
Surprised by myself
I am enough
I am an expression of who I am.
Poet Derek Walcott announced to me in “Love After Love”
The time will come
When, with elation,
You will greet yourself arriving
At your own door, at your own mirror,
And each will smile at the other's welcome.
And say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
To itself, to the stranger who has loved you
All your life, whom you ignored
For another, who knows you by heart,
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
The photographs, the desperate notes,
Peel your image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
Aaah!
Such salve for the soul!
GREAT NEST OF BEING
“The Spirit contains the soul
which contains the mind,
which contains the body (living matter),
which contains non-living matter,
which contains pure energy,
which is the ground of being,
which is Spirit.”
Sufi
“The Spirit contains the soul
which contains the mind,
which contains the body (living matter),
which contains non-living matter,
which contains pure energy,
which is the ground of being,
which is Spirit.”
Sufi
