Unable to feel.
My life PAUSED.
There are 32 red stitiches:
32 years of marriage.
There are red slashes on her arm.
If I hurt myself, will I feel it?
Will I acknowledge pain?
There is a needle and thread on her back.
All stitched up?
When will the back-stabbing end?
Is there hope for mending, for reconciliation?
The process is incomplete.
There is a red flower in her crotch.
Am I deflowered? used goods?
The essence of femininity feels defiled/violated
but the strength of femininity will empower me.
The doll is made from a pattern by elinor peace bailey, found in her book, "Mother Plays With Dolls".