Heartfelt Dolls
  • Home
    • About me
    • I Am A Dollmaker: crafter's statement
    • Beware when you honor an artist
    • Heartfelt Dolls: Fool's Errand or Heroine's Journey
    • Doll making as a spiritual journey
    • Igniting creativity with Heartfelt dolls
    • Heartfelt doll-making: a healing experience
    • Heartfelt Dolls: the memory keepers
    • Heartfelt Dolls on life and death
    • Heartfelt Dolls: aesthetic meditation
    • Heartfelt Dolls: using textile crafts in contemporary art
    • Heartfelt Dolls: seeking a definition
    • Heartfelt Dolls: A Political Voice?
    • Heartfelt Dolls: Face On/Face Off
    • Heartfelt Dolls jammin' with JAMTV
    • Heartfelt Dolls @The Open Studios Project Blog
    • Heartfelt Dolls @ ArtsMad Rotorua
    • Heartfelt Isolation
    • Exhibitions old and new
    • Heartfelt Inspiration: a blog of that which inspires me
    • Testimonials
    • Contact
    • News
  • Dolls
    • Heartfelt Dolls: companions for the journey
    • The Quotidian Doll: an introduction >
      • The Quotidian Doll Blog: introducing a Heartfelt-doll-a-day
    • Diaspora: the 101 dolls project
    • Heartfelt Dolls willing to leave home (for sale) >
      • Matariki
      • Through A Glass Darkly
      • Stitch Yourself a Boyfriend
      • Pink Walkers
      • Steampunk Dolls
      • Selfies
      • The Heroine's Journey
      • An English Country Garden
      • Hobo Chic
      • The Fisherman
      • I Shall Wear Purple
      • Enraged Woman Riding a Black and White Dog Writing Wrongs
      • Salute to the Sun
      • Old Woman in a Shoe
      • Soul Sisters
      • The Smiles Project
      • BFF
      • Blue Belles
      • Shades of Gray
      • Angels with attitude
      • Angels of gold
      • Angels
      • 'Ladies a plate'
      • Cosy up with a bit of skirt
      • Ice Palace
      • Troupe de verde
      • Animal Antics
      • Male dolls
      • Carnivale: stiltwalking dolls
      • Calendar Girls
      • Dammit dolls
      • Oh Cliche
      • Heartfelt Graffiti
      • Double Trouble
      • Lilliputians
      • Kiwi Icons
      • Faeries
    • Heartfelt Fundraisers >
      • Volunteer Fire Fighters
      • Memory keepers
      • Shades of Gray >
        • Shades of Gray Duets
        • Shades of Gray Men
      • Calendar Girls
      • Pink Walkers
      • Bandanna Chic
      • Selfies
    • Heartfelt Companions: sharing my journey with you >
      • One-of-a-kind heartfelt dolls >
        • Julie Has Flown North For The Summer
        • Hot Flash!
        • Whoops!
        • Medusa
        • The Bag Lady
        • Purple people eater
        • Social Climber
        • Place
        • Fertility Fairy
        • Smile
        • Blue Baths Belle
        • An Artist's Book
        • Pink Lady
        • Beloved
      • Heartfelt dolls in a series >
        • The Rainbow Connection
        • What's in a cup?
        • The Apple
        • Hi-Cut Internet Dolls
        • Godde Dolls
        • Shrines
        • The Rites of Autumn
        • Bibliophile
        • Seeing the world through different eyes
        • Akuba: encouraging change
        • It takes a village
        • Umbrella and Umbrage
        • A cautionary tale ...
    • Heartfelt Process, Heartfelt Transformation >
      • Matron Saints
      • Creative Guardians
      • The Nest
      • Freeing the caged heart: the poets and the dollmaker
      • The Unemployment Blues
      • The Bare Necessities
      • The Heroine's Journey
      • The Alchemy of Change
      • Sticks and stones
      • Stitch yourself a boyfriend
      • Inner Child
      • Salute to the Sun
      • Bindings
      • Euphrosyne: reclaiming joy >
        • Freeing the caged heart: poetry to lift your spirits
        • The Smiles Project
        • Dancing Feet
        • Irrepressible
        • Greening: a lenten journey
        • Wild Women Like to Dance
        • I Am Woman
        • Harakeke flowers
        • Circle of friends, vessel of hope
        • Dance
        • Spirit seekers, spirit guides
      • The Great Divide: one woman's experience of divorce >
        • Numb
        • Bound
        • Burlap and lace
        • Naked
        • Reclaim
        • Bitch
        • The Devil on my back
        • Burdened
        • God alone is enough
        • Simple heart
        • Broken dreams
        • Will the real me please stand up?
        • The Classifieds
        • Sing-a-song
        • Dark nights >
          • You are dying ...
          • Beast of burden
          • Wounded healer, broken heart
          • A moment of conversion
          • Unbuilding
          • Peace
          • Transform me
          • A clean heart
          • Unwrapped
          • Doormat
          • The weight of expectation
          • Promise
          • A new me
          • The fabric of my life
          • Struggle
          • Hanging
        • Dance me To The End of Love
      • Black Dog: one woman's experience with depression >
        • The Anti-depressants
        • Some days
        • What I wish you knew about depression
    • Heartfeltfelt Emotion >
      • Gold Angels: coping with tragedy
      • Emotions: a challenge
      • Lamentation
      • Heartfelt Anger >
        • Anger Management with Dammit Dolls
        • Dammit!
    • Heartfelt Celebration! >
      • I Shall Wear Purple!
      • Birthday dolls
      • Birthday cards
      • Julie's 21st
      • Celebrate my femininity!
      • Troupe de verde
    • Heartfelt Graffiti
    • Heartfelt Care >
      • Ageing >
        • I Shall Wear Purple
        • The Seven Ages Of Woman
      • For the children
      • Living with dementia
      • Say 'NO' to family violence >
        • You don't have to take it like I did
        • Are you the one?
      • Heartfelt Conservation >
        • Seduced By The Wild
        • Feathers Over Hamurana
        • Birds
      • Living with cancer
      • Breast Cancer Awareness >
        • Hello Dollies: an article
        • Pink Walkers
        • Primal scream
        • Flat Out
        • Paradox
        • Just Checkin'
        • I Love you, Mum
        • Mammogram Slam
        • Friends for the journey
        • Hair Today
        • Domestic Goddess
        • Deconstruct Reconstruct
        • Sewphie the stitcher
        • Nana and Gran
        • Procrastinating Polly
        • Colour blind
        • BRAve New World
        • Unzipped
        • Lord, to whom shall we go?
        • Knitting Nellie
        • The nay-sayers
        • Vessels of hope
        • Dancing Woman Labyrinth
        • Breast Labyrinth
    • Time Capsule series
  • Heartfelt Creativity
    • Heartfelt Fun
    • Heartfelt Comfort >
      • Girl Reclining on a Sofa
      • Cotton-soft boas
      • Wild Women Like to Hang About
    • Heartfelt Stitch >
      • Mother's Little Helper
      • Needlewomen
      • Old Woman in a Shoe
      • Delight in a cup
      • Heartfelt Companion
    • Heartfelt Wrapping >
      • Colour Blind
      • Spirit dolls
      • Bound
      • Aspects of Self
      • Wrapping as an art form
      • Wild Women Like To Dance
    • Heartfelt vestis >
      • What a wonderful world!
      • A thanksgiving vest
      • Dalmatics
      • In Praise
    • Labyrinth >
      • Shell labyrinth
      • Breast Labyrinth
      • Labyrinth scroll
      • Stitched labyrinth
      • Dancing Woman Labyrinth
      • Hopi labyrinth
      • Bead labyrinth
      • Journey
    • ANZAC: a tribute >
      • ANZAC Quilt
      • Rawene Boys
      • ANZAC jacket
  • Heartfelt prayer
    • Heartfelt crocheted rosaries
    • Heartfelt Retreat >
      • An Advent Retreat in Daily Life
      • Our daily medicine: a 28 day reflection on living and dying
      • Hidden in Plain View: a retreat in daily life
      • 24 hours: a retreat reflecting on the passion of Jesus
      • Stations of the light
    • Heartfelt waiting: reflections on the season of Advent >
      • Matron Saints of Un-named Women
      • Advent is a vessel
      • Advent is a pilgrimage
      • Advent remembers we are all related.
      • Advent is creative
      • Advent is a ritualised experience
      • Advent is expectant
      • Advent names God
      • Advent is a door
      • Advent: a sacred space
    • Stations of the Cross >
      • Christchurch Stations of the Cross
      • 24 Hours
      • Stations with haiku
      • John Badcock "Stations of the Cross"
    • Heartfelt Season: reflecting on the season of Lent >
      • A Lenten Walk
      • Lenten Prayer Flags
    • Heartfelt Hallelujah: reflections on the season of Easter >
      • Voices on the Via Lucis
    • Prayers from the Ark >
      • The Mouse
      • The Spider
      • The Dog
      • The Elephant
      • The Lizard
      • The Lamb
      • The Peacock
      • The Giraffe
      • The Toad
      • The Parrot
      • The Mother Hen
      • The Goldfish
      • The Cat
      • The Lion
    • Heartfelt Belief
    • Heartfelt Reflection >
      • These Parables Blow Me Apart!
      • A Single Thread
      • Every moment is gift
      • Harvest Wheat
      • Stepping out in faith
      • Harvest Heart
      • Dream catcher
      • The Sewing Basket
    • Sacred Story >
      • The Road to Emmaus
      • The Loaves and the Fishes
    • Listening To Winter
    • Genesis
    • Heartfelt Writing >
      • Joy on a String
      • Changing Landscapes
      • Rites of Passage
      • Sowing and Reaping
      • Hidden In Plain View
      • An Emmaus Journey
      • God and Dog
      • Dear Julie
      • An Intentional Walk
      • The Widow's Might
      • Does God Exist?
      • The Sewing Basket
      • Advent: A Sacred Space
      • A Secular Liturgy
      • Your Call
      • Dance me To The End Of Love
  • "100 day" projects
  • Prayer flag project
    • Blessings on the wind: a year of blessings >
      • April blessings
      • March blessings
      • February blessings
      • January blessings
      • December blessings
      • November blessings
      • October blessings
      • September blessings
      • August blessings
      • July blessings
      • June blessings
      • May Blessings
      • April Blessings
      • March Blessings
    • Prayer flag blog
  • Gratitude Flowers

A Helpful Guide to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others ...

11/3/2017

0 Comments

 
A Helpful Guide to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Written by Joshua Becker

"Comparison is the thief of joy.”  Theodore Roosevelt

I’ve struggled with it most of my life.
Typically, I blame it on having a twin brother who is five inches taller with much broader shoulders. But if I was being truly honest, more likely,
it is simply a character flaw hidden somewhere deep in my heart.

I’ve lived most of my life comparing myself to others.
At first, it was school and sports.
But as I got older, I began comparing other metrics:
job title, income level, house size, and worldly successes.
I have discovered there is an infinite number of categories upon which we can compare ourselves and an almost infinite number of people to compare ourselves to.
Once we begin down that road, we never find an end.

The tendency to compare ourselves to others is as human as any other emotion.
Certainly I’m not alone in my experience. 
But it is a decision that only steals joy from our lives.

And it is a habit with numerous shortcomings:

Comparisons are always unfair.
We typically compare the worst we know of ourselves to the best we presume about others.

Comparisons, by definition, require metrics.
But only a fool believes every good thing can be counted (or measured).

Comparisons rob us of precious time.
We each get 86,400 seconds each day.
And using even one to compare yourself or your accomplishments to another is one second too many.

You are too unique to compare fairly.
Your gifts and talents and successes and contributions and value are entirely unique to you and your purpose in this world. They can never be properly compared to anyone else.

You have nothing to gain, but much to lose. 
For example: your pride, your dignity, your drive, and your passion.

There is no end to the possible number of comparisons.
The habit can never be overcome by attaining success.
There will also be something—or someone—else to focus on.

Comparison puts focus on the wrong person.
You can control one life—yours.
But when we constantly compare ourselves to others,
we waste precious energy focusing on other peoples’ lives rather than our own.

Comparisons often result in resentment. 
Resentment towards others and towards ourselves.

Comparisons deprive us of joy.
They add no value, meaning, or fulfillment to our lives.
They only distract from it.

Indeed, the negative effects of comparisons are wide and far-reaching.
Likely, you have experienced (or are experiencing) many of them first-hand in your life as well.
How then, might we break free from this habit of comparison? 

Consider, embrace, and proceed forward with the following steps.

A Practical Guide to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Take note of the foolish (and harmful) nature of comparison.
Take a good look at the list above.
Take notice of comparison’s harmful effects in your life.
And find priority to intentionally remove it from the inside-out.

Become intimately aware of your own successes.
Whether you are a writer, musician, doctor, landscaper, mother, or student,
you have a unique perspective backed by unique experiences and unique gifts.

You have the capacity to love, serve, and contribute.
You have everything you need to accomplish good in your little section of the world.
With that opportunity squarely in front of you, become intimately aware of your past successes.
And find motivation in them to pursue more.

Pursue the greater things in life.
Some of the greatest treasures in this world are hidden from sight:
love, humility, empathy, selflessness, generosity.
Among these higher pursuits, there is no measurement.
Desire them above everything else and remove yourself entirely from society’s definition of success.
Compete less.
Appreciate more.

There may be times when competition is appropriate, but life is not one of them.
We have all been thrown together at this exact moment on this exact planet.
And the sooner we stop competing against others to “win,”
the faster we can start working together to figure it out.

The first and most important step in overcoming the habit of competition is to
routinely appreciate and compliment the contribution of others.
Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude.
Gratitude always forces us to recognize the good things we already have in our world.

Remind yourself nobody is perfect.
While focusing on the negatives is rarely as helpful as focusing on the positives,
there is important space to be found remembering that nobody is perfect
and nobody is living a painless life.
Triumph requires an obstacle to be overcome.
And everybody is suffering through their own, whether you are close enough to know it or not.

Take a walk.
Next time you find yourself comparing yourself to others, get up and change your surroundings.
Go for a walk—even if only to the other side of the room.
Allow the change in your surroundings to prompt change in your thinking.

Find inspiration without comparison.
Comparing our lives with others is foolish.
But finding inspiration and learning from others is entirely wise.
Work hard to learn the difference.

Humbly ask questions of the people you admire or read biographies as inspiration.
But if comparison is a consistent tendency in your life,
notice which attitudes prompt positive change and which result in negative influence.

If you need to compare, compare with yourself.
We ought to strive to be the best possible versions of ourselves—not only for our own selves,
but for the benefit and contribution we can offer to others.
Work hard to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Commit to growing a little bit each day.

And learn to celebrate the little advancements you are making without comparing them to others.
With so many negative effects inherent in comparison, it is a shame we ever take part in it.
But the struggle is real for most of us.
Fortunately, it does not need to be.
And the freedom found in comparing less is entirely worth the effort.

0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Liz Pearce

    I am a doll-maker; a doll interpreter; a doll activist, perhaps, using this medium to reflect on the human condition.

    Archives

    August 2020
    June 2020
    June 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    September 2018
    June 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.